


I Did

by zerozerokyu



Category: James Bond (Craig movies)
Genre: Angst, Feelings, M/M, Marriage, Q moves on with life, Weddings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-06
Updated: 2018-11-06
Packaged: 2019-08-19 16:53:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,144
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16538504
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zerozerokyu/pseuds/zerozerokyu
Summary: James getting a wedding invite from Q.****“Do you love me?” James asked.“I did,” Q answers.





	I Did

**Author's Note:**

> Hello to all those who read this. This is a short fic written which was an idea I had while getting food.
> 
> Thank you [springbok7](https://archiveofourown.org/users/springbok7/pseuds/springbok7) for being my beta at such short notice for my grammar and if the story makes sense.
> 
> Follow me on tumbler at [ZeroZeroKyu](https://gloomymegu.tumblr.com/) and feel free to drop me prompts or plot bunnies!

James holds the envelope Q handed to him. It is an innocent looking envelope but he can feel his heart hurting as he holds it. He knew this day was coming one day but he always assumed it would not be this soon.

 

“You're invited to my wedding, it is not too big just people who I know. It will be at Bristol and close to the sea too.” Q smiles. James scans his face trying to see if Q is faking it but he can see none of those signs. All he sees now is a genuine smile of a man who is happy about his upcoming big day.

 

James pulls the invitation out of the envelope and his heart clenches as he reads through the words.

 

**_With great pleasure_ **

_**Emerson Graham & Christopher Prescott** _

_**Invite you to join them at the celebration of their marriage** _

_**Date: Saturday, 16th of February 2019** _

_**Time: 4 pm** _

_**Venue: Goldney Orangery, Bristol University, Bristol** _

_**Dinner and dancing to follow after** _

 

The words on the card feel like a mockery to him, like the world is laughing at him for his screw up.  He has truly lost his chance and his heart aches at that knowledge. He re-reads the card again before pocketing it in his coat. He is still not sure if he should attend the ceremony.

 

“Do you love him?” James questions.

 

“Excuse me?”

 

“Do you love Christopher?” James repeats the question again.

 

“I do.” Q’s eyes soften at the mention of his fiancé. A smile that James hope at that moment that it is for him rather than the man he is about to tie the knot with.

 

“Do you love me?” He could not stop himself from asking. It came out before he could stop himself.

 

“I did,” Q answers so softly that James thinks he may have misheard it.

 

"Did? What happened?" James’ heart feels like it’s gripped in a vice. He knows what the answer will be but he still wants to hear Q explain it.

 

“I moved on, James. I healed and moved on with my life.”

 

“And you found love?” James probes deeper.

 

“Yes, James, I found love.” Q now sounding irritated by the question.

 

“How long has it been?”

 

“Two years. After you left with Doctor Madeline. I decided to just move on with my life. After the countless times of getting my heart broken, I decided to give up on you. I decided to patch my broken heart together and keep it behind a cage of thorny vines after being so foolish as to keep loving you.”

 

“I never wanted to hurt you. I…” Q holds his hand up, stopping James before he can complete his sentence.

 

“Save it, James. I’ve had enough of your excuses. Let me say what I wanted to say all these years and you can decide later if you want to toss this invitation or come to my wedding.”

 

James nods and keeps quiet as Q speaks.

 

“I loved you once upon a time, just like many before I did. I’m sure there must be a list of people who love you too, but I was the unfortunate person who got to watch you leave me behind for all the pretty creatures you could get your hands on, over and over again. I still kept loving you despite all that, thinking you would come back to me and love me back. When you came back broken, I fixed you up, only for you to use me again. Imagine the hurt and embarrassment I felt when you literally took the car I had lovingly built for you, only to whisk your new lover away right in front of my eyes. What could I do but to smile and wish you luck when it is clear that she is much more beautiful than I can ever be?”

 

James shifted uncomfortably at Q’s outburst. He felt ashamed that he made Q feel used and abandoned which he never intended it to happen. But things have turned out that way and there is no going back.

 

“At that moment I decided enough was enough. I couldn’t keep living that way and I tried to forget you. I did everything I can to forget you while pretending to be fine and running high-risk missions daily. I even tried to go out and start dating. But I realized the men I chose after you, to forget you, all had the same traits as you. Sandy blond, blue eyes, and suits. They turn out to be a bunch of heartbreakers too. I found myself trying to find another you, but then Christopher came along when I swore myself off dating. He is sweet, kind, and nothing like you. I did not let him into my heart at first since I have already made peace with being one of the left behinds. I was afraid he would see how ugly my heart had become after being broken countless times but he loved me despite knowing the baggage I carried. And I learned to let the baggage go, piece by piece until I am truly free. I found love during that period. I found time to heal, take care of myself, and I found a person who loves me for being me. I found love, James. I found my happiness when I least expected it to. So yes. It is ‘I did’ with a past tense because I have moved on.”  Q huffs and turns to walk away.

 

James is left staring at the retreating back of the man who he let get away. He has ruined his final chance to be with Q and there will be no turning back after all the pain he has put the Quartermaster through.

 

****

 

James tosses his suit jacket on the sofa before he pulls his phone out, dialling that number. He has thought of it hard the past few weeks and finally decided to take it.

 

“Tanner. I will take the mission.”

 

“Are you sure? You might not be able to come back from this one.” Tanner asks worriedly.

 

“It’s fine. I have no one waiting for me now. Meet me at the airport in 2 hours.” With that, he ends the call before he pulls out the bag he had packed days ago.

 

He is ready to leave London, where there is nothing left for him but heartache and remembering the hazel-eyed man he still loves.

 

The only comfort he gets is seeing the man he still loves smiling brightly and being held close by another man who will treasure him better than he can. The wedding is beautiful and he gets to see Q smile bright even if it is not for him.

 

With a last look at the apartment, he left his letter and his watch as he exits the house.

**Author's Note:**

> Cheers to all those who read this fic. Do feel free to give a kudos or comment if you like it. All comments and kudos are greatly appreciated. 
> 
> Kyu out!


End file.
